Organization XIII?
by PhantomTrain89
Summary: When Organization XIII, comes under attack by strange new foes with mysterious intentions, they have the opportunity to do something they have never done before.....take a vacation.
1. After Work

I was bored so here is my first fan fic a partial semi-serious/semi-funny fan fic where organization XIII and a product of my imagination collides.

Now let's go deep into my mind for I am MIND FREAK….no seriously I am going to now tell the story caught up in my mind….blah.

Organization XIII their goal is to regain their existence and their hearts aside from surviving the endless supply of people trying to turn them gay/dead are ones who have been cursed with non-existence and extreme popularity to which they are considered tired and over-used much like link or some other popular character…anywho back to my point once in a while some dude or more accurately some group of people who are jealous with Organization XIII are about to get a taste of what organization XIII has to go through each and everyday for the rest of their non-existence.

Vexen The Chilly Academic No. IV

Vexen appeared in his lab or more accurately his room feeling tired and miserable. "Hell even though I am not the original Vexen I sure as hell feel like him." Feeling or rather thinking that he was DEAD tired Vexen laid on his bed. "Damn that's the fifth time today I was forced to Rape another member of Organization XIII and that stuff can give you nightmares." Vexen said talking to himself getting up he sat on a leather sofa and started up a game of unreal with some other fan fic Vexens in other realities/fan fics. "crap man science Vexen is good at this." He let out a yell as his character was killed by Rape Vexen and then Teabagged by Rape Vexen's Character. "Damn that guy's good." He then resumed play with an angry face.

Marluxia The Graceful Assassin No. XI

Marluxia wasn't as fortunate as Vexen as he entered his pale white room with the occasional flower pedestal capable of giving hp balls if broken. "Why am I gay all the time." He said in an annoying tone. "Not that I am actually gay or I have anything against them, its just that I hate being gay even in some good fan fics I'm gay…gay…gay…gay" He plowed his head into his pillow and let out a yell. "I just like the occasional flower décor it's not like I have it everywhere….even though it's my element." He sighed and turned on his TV and watched actual porn made for men which he enjoyed to some extent. "there we go now Jack Blackcock teach her how to play the trumpet." He then looked at the fourth wall. "go watch 40 year old virgin if you don't know what I mean." He waved off the readers and reached deep into his coat very deep…….pulling out a bottle of Pepsi and drank it as Jack Black cock successfully taught her the true art of playing with his instrument. "This is great now if only I could get myself a bag of chips."

Luxord The Gambler of Fate No. X

Luxord was in his room his bags under his eyes were saggy and purple as if he hadn't slept in years his eyes blood red he was looking at a deck of cards. "cards….cards…..cards….why do I have to look at these and use them every single day….since the day kingdom hearts 2 came out." He let out a scream of agony it seemed that he had finally reached the boiling point and broke down crying the cards flew up into the air surrounding Luxord as they fell to the ground increasing his insanity. "all work and no cards make Luxord not Luxord." He said in a crazy fashion his true calling was supposed to be reading but it ended up being crazy instead so let's leave him to his crazy. "NO DON'T LEAVE ME WHY WHY." Marluxia came into his room looking for some chips or dip since card sharks usually had them for poker games and what not, but came in as he yelled his words. "Umm why are you yelling at the wall and why are cards are all over the place? oh and can I borrow some chips and dip? I know you card sharks love chips and dip" Luxord glared at him. "Hey!!! I know why don't you stay and play strip poker with me you gay bast…" and the door closed on Marluxia before Luxord finished his sentence obviously offended by the last remark as Marluxia headed down the hallway Luxord laughing, laughing at nothing.

Lexaeus The Silent Hero No. V

Lexaeus was busy in his room nothing macho about him but actually a stack of poems and literature was on his table proving he was intelligent he was on his bed doing a few push-ups and reading a passage out of Shakespeare's Hamlet particularly his soliloquy. "Hmm I don't see whats the fuss Is all about it's just a normal soliloquy I guess it's the first lines that get the attention." Lexaeus said as he didn't talk a lot during his day knee-deep in fan fiction he looked at the rest of the page before stopping his push-ups and closing his copy of Hamlet even though he was tired from all the heavy-lifting/work and keeping his opinion to himself in his day full of fan fiction he still did his push-ups. "I got to keep my form or I might pull something one of these days." He said sighing he looked at the fourth wall. "…God I hope they by which I mean fan fiction authors take it easy on me tomorrow." He said with a tone of unhappiness as he laid on his bed and rested up for tomorrow's hard work hoping for a time to express himself.

Zexion The Cloaked Schemer No. VI

Zexion entered his room full of puzzles and books not feeling a bit tired since the worst that happened to him in fan fiction land was cutting himself with a razor blade and even that was not much to do. Zexion just returned to his room with a copy of mad magazine in his hand and a crossword puzzle book that was finished in no time flat in his other hand. "Honestly crosswords are so easy nowadays maybe I should take up sudoku." Zexion said as he sat on his desk chair placing the mad magazine and the finished crossword puzzle book on the desk he had obviously finished the man's work in the bathroom that never was, he then took a razor blade that was on the table and looked at it. "why do people insist on calling me emo….it's just not right." He said sighing. "I don't even like the thought of applying pressure to a vein with this thing." He then grabbed a miniature wax model of himself and scrapped of excess pieces of wax off his model using the razor blade looking at a small blue print that said "make yourself smaller…using wax!!!" unfortunately for Zexion he slipped the razor off the wax model and cut himself on the finger, looking at his finger and how deep he cut himself he fainted even though nobodies don't have blood. Marluxia who is our protagonist for him having go through being called gay all the time entered the room. "Hey Zex got any chip…s??" he looked at the unconscious Zexion that was on the floor and a razor beside him "Hey Zexion cheer up emo kid." He said with a small laugh as Zexion woke up. "Hey I would say bite me but then again I'm afraid you would do it." Marluxia sighed and exited the room slamming the door. "GAY ALL THE TIME GAY." Marluxia yelled out as he walked down the corridor of nothingness. Zexion then looked at his finger which was cut wide open and fainted again.

Xaldin The Whirlwind Lancer No. III

Xaldin the psycho killer the one who overkills everyone he meets the one who on the message boards of yore was plaguing the boards with "Help with Xaldin" topics was in his room meditating and partially sleeping. "Zen." Xaldin said repeatedly as he was also tired from the exaggeration of his fighting style all the time everyday seven times a week as he was always over killing in the fan fiction each time was getting harder for him since he was infact a Buddha follower and a bit of a pacifist fighting only when necessary. "god why do I always get it in the bud the most I love peace why would I ever risk that with nothing but murder in my thoughts 24/7?" he said as he continued to sit there on a mat meditating with incense dowsing the room in a calm odor. "I guess that's the life of an actual hard boss." Just then Marluxia came into the room interrupting Xaldin's way to nirvana. "Hey there psycho just looking for some chips and dip got any?" Xaldin sighed and responded calmly. "I don't allow homosexuals into my room." He said in an annoyed voice Marluxia let out a gasp. "why you oh at least I don't have big side burns or dreadlocks….or whatever you call those things." Marluxia slammed the door. "WHY AM I CALLED GAY ALL THE TIME?" Xaldin then sighed grabbing a bag of chips from his coat pocket and turned around. "umm Marluxia?" unfortunately due to extreme fatigue and overexerting himself. "Marluxia?" His reflexes began to dull when resting in Buddha mode. "wow he's fast." Xaldin then returned to his Mantras and path to extreme enlightenment leaving the chips on the floor.

Xigbar The Freeshooter No. II

Xigbar the freeshooter. "Why the hell am I called freeshooter?" he said looking pretty pissed. "sure I use guns and all that hell I enjoy the occasional hunt but what does freeshooter mean I get to shoot for free?" he wasn't angry about his hobby or what weapons he used, it was his title. "I gotta see the superior about this change it maybe to the sniper or something that actually sounds like it made sense." Not only that fatigue was setting in he laid on his bed and sighed. "If I have to look through a scope again or say something in a California accent again anytime soon I will seriously kill some one or something that is unfortunate to be next to me." He looked at the fourth wall. "Not that it's actually a threat." He said with a bit of embarrassment. "Anyways I'll see Xemnas about this." He sighed as he laid there on bed. "After I rest my eyes I think I might have to get stronger contacts now." He took out one contact that was in his eye. "The reason behind my patch….so I can have one good eye at least." He then put eye drops into his eye that was by this time almost dead. "So don't tell anyone in fan fic land or I might have to kill some one." He said glaring at the fourth wall. "All this gun fighting is putting a strain on my eyes." He then rested up his eye by sleeping as he was also tired. "By the way my hobby is sleeping so leave me alone." He then slept all day dreaming of more sleep.

Saix The Luna Diviner No. VII

Saix was in a pretty calm mood even though he was exhausted. "Damn I hate this thing it only makes me tired faster." He was talking about his claymore which he was dragging along as he entered the room, dropping it on the ground as it made a loud clank on the floor and so heavy it made a small crack on the ground and going berserk 24/7 of the time he spends in fan fiction didn't help either. "I wonder how many times I killed each of my organization XIII allies in a berserker rage." He said thinking for a moment. "Probably about 1852 times….not too bad as last time." He said with a sigh. "I guess having a berserker rage in battle in the real game did not help me out in fan fiction land." He said as he sat on a chair and pulled out a book full of phonics and math problems. "Damn I can't get this stupid problem its so annoying." He broke the pencil and let out a yell….he laughed at the fourth wall. "Ha I'm just kidding you I finished this book a long time ago in fourth grade." He then showed the book all of it finished and all of it correct he then laughed some more it was obvious he was a jokester and was a very happy person even though he was displayed as a mindless berserker in fan fics.

Larxene The Savage Nymph No. XII

The savage nymph and sadist and most importantly the spunkiest member of Organization XIII was in her room reading a marquis de Sade book. "Hrmm seriously my real self likes this crap?" Larxene who was played as a sadistic bitch and an evil slut an unimaginable terrifying whore was in her neatly decorated room eying the author with an angry face. "Okay if you can get on with it." She said with a sigh she threw the book at the wall and turned on a TV. "Hmmm now let's watch some Chappelle show." She unlike most members liked Chappelle show and enjoyed a good laugh now and then. Marluxia was storming by as he grumbled and mumbled at how he was going to get everyone sooner or later or when Marluxia was finally going to get chips when Larxene seen him walking down the hall. "Hey there Marluxia come here." She said with a yell. Marluxia not in the mood for the savage nymph to call him down and question his manhood ignored her. Larxene gave a confused look. "What's his problem, ants in his pants?" She said with a warm smile on her face. "Oh well I guess all these chips are mine." She had a big smile on her face as she indulged on a big bag of Marluxia's favorite brand No Name Brand no flavour Chips. "Just what I needed to relax after a long fan fiction day of being a whore to Axel and a bully to everyone else." She then laughed at a scene from Chappelle show as she popped more chips into her mouth.

Axel The Flurry of Dancing Flames No. VIII

The Pyro the one who is gay with Roxas and having sloppy you-know-what scenes with Larxene and various other organization XIII members in fan fiction land of course was dead tired of it. "Damn man why the hell do I attract the chicks so much….and Roxas too…..and all the other Organization members………..and man…..its not that I don't like the guys, and gals its that I am tired of seeing ass so many times especially man ass." He shuddered at the thought of tomorrow. "God strike me down please." He said as he lay in bed looking at the ceiling. "What you hate me too?" He then waved the ceiling off. "If you don't….aww who cares I am too tired to give a rat's ass." Rubbing the back of his head he let out a big yawn as He pulled out a magazine filled with….you can guess what it is but you'll be pleasantly surprised….okay ready…..ready? "GET ON WITH IT." The Pyro yelled at the Author, okay then…..cooking…that's right Axel loves cooking. "Got it memorized." Axel said as the lights in his room turned on revealing countless cookery and utensils that was made just for him and they all had been used at least a few dozen times. "I love to cook…keeps my sanity….got it memor…..you know what screw it I said that damn line at least 500000 times TODAY." His mood went down again. "I guess I should cook up something new." Axel got up as he ached in his private area. "I guess……." He then looked at the fourth wall. "I should Axel was feeling pretty much violated of his personal time. "I need rest first then I'll cook so come back later!!! Freaks!!" The point of view switched from inside his room to outside as he let out a yell. "THAT'S THE STUFF." A loud sigh of relief came out of his voice.

Roxas The Key of Destiny No. XIII

The youngest member the most popular of all the Yaoi fans in the entire universe of kingdom hearts fandom was in his room quietly resting not moving an inch. "God I hate my life….unlife? Death? Existence…..unexistence?" He was not much of a thinker as he sat up his hair all messy and his clothes smelled like Axel…..and Sora….and…..alot of other guys. "Why am I not a normal guy like the rest of Organization XIII?" He let out a tired sigh. "I wish that I could go back and you know stop myself from being created." He rested his eyes as he got up and grabbed a bottle of febreeze. "Okay nuff with the product placement." Roxas said as he sprayed himself and all of his clothes opening his closet were the same set of clothes he wore while in twilight town he had at least ten of them and five Organization XIII coats in his size he sprayed them all emptying his can of you-know-what he then threw it into a pile of the same cans it was at least as tall as him. "What I do to keep the smell of Axel off me." He moaned and went outside into the Rec Room of Nix, Nada, and No way. "Well at least this room is quiet and doesn't smell of gay love." He said taking a deep breath of nothingness. "God I need a break." He said as he sat on a leather couch. "Maybe it's because I am the youngest….or a teen….damn teenage years they're supposed to be the happiest of times no the gayest of times." He said with a yell.

Xemnas The Superior No. I

"KINGDOM HEARTS." Xemnas yelled from the top spire of the castle that never was. "Okay that was better." Xemnas looked at Kingdom Hearts. "Every time I try to achieve my goal another fan fic shatters my dreams." He said in a dramatic tone of voice as always. "Let's try this again…..KINGDOM HEARTS." Xemnas sighed. "Okay that one….was decent." He sighed as he sat on the steps that didn't exist talking in his normal non-chalant voice. "Being part of the organization is tough enough but….being the leader why didn't I lose my sanity a long time ago." Xemnas thought with wonder but did not want to think about it. "Either way I tire of Mansex and being on the same gay level as that dunderhead Marluxia that guy is just not right." Just then Marluxia was on the steps about to ask Xemnas about his current chip problem. "Hey you Mansex I'm not gay." He said finally not taking it everyone else he understood but the supreme one. "Well I'll show you." Marluxia donned his scythe as petals came out of the blade. "I'll show all of you." Xemnas looked at Marluxia with anger. "You dare……you dare call me mansex?!" Marluxia not caring if his actions were against the number one attacked him. "Treason is it?" Xemnas said as he drew one of his aerial blades being tired did not help him out one bit. The big clash which was caused by exhaustion and bad tempers flaring was about to happen when a missile struck the side of the castle that never was.

Okay Cliffhanger, There we go just a little…well it's my first attempt at Fan Fiction so don't flame me too much…or too little…….um maybe you shouldn't flame period….if your wondering why I picked phantom train its because I liked the boss battle with the phantom train in ff6 so there.


	2. Missles are a pain

Okay then here is my OFFICIAL second shabby poorly thought-of chapter…bleh anywho….

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As the Missile hit the castle….

Roxas XIII

A shockwave hit the castle's grounds as Roxas fell off the chair he was laying on and fell on the floor as he lay there flat on his face he started to think. "Earthquake? But we are on a floating castle….so missile…..or something hit the castle like a giant bird." Roxas slowly got to his feet. "Yeah I think it was a giant bird." Roxas then ran off to the balcony to see the giant bird.

Larxene XII

The force of the shockwave which was powerful enough to make a teenaged boy fall off a couch was obviously able to move small things including Larxene's DVD player which it did of course, when it did fall to the ground the wires snapped and the DVD player broke leaving the TV blank and Larxene pissed. "Who the hell did that?" She yelled out. "If I find out that this was Vexen's doing he'll be eating through tubes for a MONTH!" With that Larxene headed off to find the source of the shockwave.

Luxord X

The cards, to Luxord it was all about the cards not even when the Explosion came Luxord didn't care as he was in the middle of making a card house but it was more like a card castle and that it looked exactly like the Castle that Never Was it was even floating when the explosion hit the castle was safe from shattering but not from the light bulb that was screwed loosely it fell and hit the castle's side not exactly shattering it but more like making a hole in it, as if a missile hit it there were even burn marks where the light bulb hit. "Now what in the name of Cards was that?" Because of the lack of light Luxord slipped off the ladder he was standing on and fell right on top of the castle destroying the hard ONE hour of work he did on the castle holding the ace of spades in his hands he laid there on the pile of cards and thought to himself. "God I need a different hobby." He then fell asleep feeling comfortable in the pile of cards.

Demyx IX

Demyx who was left out last chapter was pissed off when he was busy inspecting his Sitar he was in the middle of tightening his strings and when the shockwave hit he pulled too hard and the string snapped and the wire backlash hit Demyx on face leaving a red line on his face. "Okay….Demyx calm down…calm down it's alright." He said as he sat there on his bed clenching his fists. "It's nothing really it's going to be fine." Demyx said as he held in the anger Demyx placed his Sitar on the bed as he slowly got up the walls of his room covered in Metallica, Judas Priest, and AC-DC posters.

"Well I guess it's time to see what the hell is happening….my plan and my tuning will have to wait." Demyx said manically as he walked out of his room slamming his door on the way out.

Axel VIII

Axel had a chef's hat on as he was making a stir fry dish the sizzling oil was popping and releasing a pleasant smell as he put his face next to the pan to smell the cooking stir fry when the missile hit. "Huh what the hell was that?" He said as the entire castle shook the pan flew into the air Axel looked up, as the pan full of HOT oil and meat was about to hit his face, his eyes widened as our view switches to outside his room. A loud scream is all that's heard as a clanging of an extremely HOT pan as it hit the floor, and a thud after that it all went quiet.

Saix VII

Saix was whistling as he was finishing a cure formula for cancer. "Okay then…it's all so clear now….so this is what needs to be done." He smiled as he put it in the copier inside of his room when the entire room shook a bowling ball that was balanced on a shelf next to the copier fell off and fell on the photocopier crushing it and setting it on fire Saix looked in some shock as he watched the embers burn the only cure for cancer. "Well that sucks at least I have the formula in here." He tapped his head and smiled but the photocopier exploded as he was sent flying towards a wall hitting it hard he slid to the floor. "Ouch this sucks…but I am alright at least." He said as he rubbed his head. "It would suck if something hit me on the head." He said laughing as another bowling ball fell off a shelf that was above him and hit him hard on the head he fell unconscious and laid on the ground the charred ruins of his room still burning.

Zexion VI

Zexion was woken by the shaking of the castle that never was he looked at his finger and slipped on a new glove. "Okay what the hell is going on?" Zexion said as he brushed off any dust that was on him he grabbed the small figure of himself and the razor blade that was used to cut himself he walked out of the room still shaving off any pieces of excess wax. "Eh I get bored easy might as well work on this as I find out what's going on." He said as he continued to work walking down the corridor of nil.

Lexaeus V

The silent hero was in his room sleeping when he woke up to the rocking of his room and countless books falling off shelves. "Huh what in the name of the Divine Comedy was that?" Lexaeus stood up and walked out into the hallway, seeing Larxene storming by, he tapped her shoulder which earned a prompt kick from her and he was sent flying back into his room into a pile of books. "Okay not only was that physically impossible but it was also rude." He yelled out as Larxene started to send out random bolts of lightning charring the hallways as she walked towards the balcony.

Vexen IV

Vexen was busy in his room playing some unreal he was about to finish rape Vexen off when the internet was cut off killing any attempt at a rematch and killing Vexen's pride along with it, he held his controller tightly before getting up and throwing the controller against the wall destroying it. "Damn you Vexen you have bested me again…..and what the hell was that?" He yelled as he stormed out of his room grabbing his shield. "Larxene is going to pay for this if she did it….she'll be eating through tubes for TWO months."

Xaldin III

Xaldin was busy in his room the road to Nirvana still ways off learning of the sins he can commit and how to avoid them in his life when the quake hit messing up his mantras and cutting off his way to Nirvana permanently he silently got up and summoned his lances he let out a small breath as his room was tattered and cut to pieces in an instant he walked to his door and his doorway was cut to pieces he walked out an evil smirk on his face Nirvana his life and dream was gone for good. His only outlet was now slaughter his lances were trembling full of hate and evil.

Xigbar II

The Freeshooter was in his firing range a picture of the superior on the target he aimed carefully with his weapon for Xemnas' head and shot about 100 shots all of them hit the mark his forehead a hole on the superior's head as Xigbar smiled. "Well that was fun." He loaded up another clip this time filled with exploding bullets. "Now let's have some real fun." He smiled as the ground shook hard as he pulled the trigger he slipped and fell backwards and fell on the ground firing exploding shots at the ceiling making it cave in pieces of ceiling falling on him he screamed as he was covered in rubble and burning flames as his hand was all that was visible twitching every now and then.

Marluxia XI

Marluxia stood high atop the castle that never was' highest tower. "Now superior I have had enough with the insults tell everyone to stop or else." He clutched his scythe as he paid no attention to the rumbling letting some flower petals fall off his blade looking at the superior. "Don't let this get ugly….I'm being serious."

Xemnas I

Xemnas looked Marluxia dead in the eye. "Now, now Marluxia…..don't freak out….I'm sure you wouldn't want any wrinkles." He said laughing. "No one dares to insult me and lives…now that you have drew your weapon against me." He held his aerial blade closely as he drew another one. "You are a traitor….and therefore punishable by death" Xemnas and Marluxia ran towards each other a big clash was about to take place.

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Now I hope this is much more better another cliffhanger I know they suck but I swear a Marluxia and Xemnas fight scene I hope that it will be good anyways sorry for the long wait.


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